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the daily banana

It's A Good Thing Gandalf Didn't Ask Paris To Take The Ring

12.18.2003

If I have the ring of power, maybe I should get matching earings of power

Well yesterday was a grand day. First up was getting to see the Return of the King on opening day. We didn't get to the midnight show, but with a movie that clocks in at three hours and forty minutes (after commercials and previews) the morning show sounded much better. Sure there weren't as many hardcore fans dressed up, but there was a big line and plenty of cheering during the movie. I don't think there was much cheering during the 10 minutes of boring commercials. With any movie you'll always have some people who need to take 'potty breaks' during the movie, but with a movie that exceeds three and a half hours, it gets more interesting. There was definately a guy with a 'girly bladder' sitting behind me (or perhaps he had the breakfast burrito from Taco Bell) who got up atleast four times during the movie. I'm the type of movie watcher who would rather cause bladder damage by holding it, rather than miss scenes from a brand new movie.

Return of the King is visually amazing and really follows the book closely. Probably the major flaw was cutting Saruman's scenes, because it felt odd not having them, and the final scenes back in The Shire with Saruman and Worm Tongue would be hard to insert into the forthcoming extended DVD release.

While it was fun to watch Frodo finish his quest, it was also another treat later in the evening to get to watch Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, once again, fail at every tast they attempted on The Simple Life. Classic moments included when they got fired from their jobs at Sonic Burger and got their final paychecks, they had to ask what to do with them. Not living a sheltered life, eh? The best moment had to be after the girls (I mean how can you can anyone who acts this dumb women) steal from their next boss and buy presents on his charge account. After getting caught Nicole acts like her pet cat died and splashes water on her face and basically shows us why she should never be given an acting job in the future. You would think television executives would have figured out to keep her off tv. Boy, two nights in a row of this stuff is good.

Have you ever tried to get cow [expletive] out of a Prada purse?

It looks like Paris has the dexterity to operate a keyboard which might be a good way to combat the Paris Hilton Video Blog.

Christmas is fast approaching, so it may be too late to order Herobuilders action figures of captured Saddam Hussein. Yes, that's true, for $29.95 you can have a poseable Saddam doll to basically do whatever you want to. And remember....

Don't be fooled by other cheap imitations not made by Americans.

Remember at this years Christmas party to be careful with toothpicks.


Posted by monkeyinabox ::: |