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Here's A Review You Won't See On Bend Oregon Restaurants

01.07.2006

NO CHOPSTICKS REQUIRED

It's not that Bend Oregon Restaurants is lacking a key review, but just in case Brenda wants a vacation, or needs a break, here's something you are free to use, copy & paste, or creatively rewrite. Without further ado, monkeyinabox.net presents: Burger King:

Ah, Burger King. How do I love thee?

If you haven't been to Burger King, get off your butt and go --

RIGHT NOW!

It's not that I can't cook -- I just LOVE eating out and today was no exception, except I wanted to keep it cheap and satisfy that hunger that only The King could provide. While Burger King does offer two convenient locations in Bend, there's something nostalgic about the South location (for you Old School Bendites, you know, the original location. Of course being in a hurry I decided to use one of the best features of Burger King: the drive-thru. Sure you could eat at Outback Steak House, Zydeco, or many of the other numerous upscale dining establishments, but do they offer a drive-thru? Tsk. Tsk.

I know what you're thinking now. Of course there are other eating establishments that offer a drive-thru, but do any of them also offer the world-famous Whoppero, as I like to call these delicious creations from The King? Nope, so with my Score Big Savings With The King coupon book in hand, I jumped in the Monkeymobile (you know Batman drives the Batmobile) and cruised on down Reed Market Road towards my Whoppers.

The worst thing about the popularity of the drive-thru is that sometimes it's faster to park, get out of your car and walk inside, but that involves walking, so luckily I was able to pull right up to the ordering totem:

"What would you like?", beamed the blue painted speaker.

Wow, this is what I like, no messing around with pleasantries, just getting straight to the point. Whopper Value Meal. Large Size. Onion Rings(can't get those at McDonalds)Dr. Pepper, and I've got a coupon for a free Whopper too. There are a few good things in this world and a Free Whopper is one of them. $5.20 was the cost of the value meal, but I was told $6.90 or so on the screen, as well as when I pulled up to the window and the 16-year old girl. I handed her the coupon and politely stated it should be less, correct? No, it's $6.90. Huh, what? I explained that the sign said the meal was $5.20, so why is the total not $5.20? There was a look of perplexment, or maybe that some of that "bite me teenager attitude", but she clearly needed help. After the 18-year old manager corrected the bill amount, I paid, asked for my ketchup, mustard and zesty onion ring sauce, said, "thanks, have a good day", and drove around the restaurant and parked in the lot.

"Parked in lot?", you ask, and yes I did because there are critical steps in eating your Whopper, and the first is, eat it when it's hot and fresh. Yes, "Eat your Whopper while it's hot and fresh," is what momma always told me. Also the fact that the window view from the restaurant isn't really much different helps too. The next tip I have to offer you is to put a few onion rings and some of the zesty onion ring sauce on your Whopper and then get ready for Whopper-Bliss.

In the end, not a bad meal for $5.20 that you get to order and have finished in 10 minutes.

I am officially a food geek.

Wrong Total: $6.90
Correct Total: $5.20
Tip: $0 (ha ha)
Grease On The Steering Wheel: Priceless

MONkEYiNabOx dined @


Posted by monkeyinabox ::: |

Comments

Jake said:

I like the original BK location on the south end, too -- they're much nicer down there.

I remember the short-lived one that was on the east side of Bend, much closer to my house. Those guys were utterly useless, and it took them 15 minutes to make ANYTHING.

Damn, though -- I'm hungry now.



BrENDa said:

What started with one restaurant in Miami in 1954 has grown to more than 11,220 restaurants in 61 countries worldwide, and over $11 BILLION dollars in annual sales. (Those numbers have steadily risen since the MurderKing.com boycott ended back in 2001.)

Do you realize that in your ten-minute parking lot meal, you consumed:

2250 Calories
116 grams Fat
246 grams Carbohydrates

Impressive, my dear monkey. Impressive indeed.
Love, BrENDa




monkeyinabox said:

It's so true that a good review makes you hungry. That east-side BK didn't last too long. I used to go there about once a week for a lunch. Then one day I drove up and they were closed.

While the location might change, the Whopper remains. Back in my UofO days The Whopper was even more a part of my diet. It was rough being in deisgn studios late into the night, and often when you needed a quick fix, the Burger King right across the street was crucial. 99 cent Whoppers everyday which made the choice between having to go home and cook a meal for yourself not always an easy one.

Since coming back to Bend, my Whopper consumption has dropped considerably. But if only I could bring myself to use that Buy One, Get One Free coupon on the Triple Whopper, I might be able to relive the glory days. Of course can one person really eat that much food? I don't even know if I could finish one.




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