THAT Flying Dog, Again, And The Search For Birdman

Where to begin, where to begin...well, might as well dive into some history before I begin the story once again. There is last year's cheating recap where audio issues, brought me down. Being the Pet Parade, which can best be described as a parade where 1/3rd of the town participate, 1/3rd of the town watches, and 1/3rd don't give a rip and stay at home, this was not something I was going to punk, but rather a time to join the other people who realize this is a great chance to be weird and wacky in public. Of course no matter what happens it's always cute and that's the point. After my last parade issues I had thought about trying something more:

Maybe next year it will work out better. Maybe next year I'll get more volume and make it happen. Maybe next year I'll.... Oh man, am I really this obsessed with monkeys in parades? Hell yeah.

Well, this year I kept it simple (KISS) and had no audio, no MTV Pimp My Ride LCD's or spinning rims. Yep, just a simple monkey wagon this year. That was probably a good thing, since last year's favorite, the flying dog with balloons returned to steal the show. Yes, a flying dog always trumps a monkey wagon. It's one of those simple rules in life that you can't deny.

To make matters worse, WE walked next to the flying dog during most of the parade. Not a good thing, because all of the TV cameras pointed way up when the flying dog went by as well as the low, low, low monkey wagon. Not that those things matter (ha ha). Yes, the WE being the beautiful Mrs. Monkey who agreed with some hesitation to carry the small Curious George that had eight small helium balloons attached to him to get some float, but sadly, Eight is NOT Enough. Our daughter also followed with a larger wagon with a much larger monkey. Do you see where I’m going here? The monkey can be damn persuasive. It’s like that moment in The Empire Strikes Back when Darth Vader tries to convince Luke Skywalker to join him:

There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You've only begun to discover your power. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.

Okay, maybe that’s a stretch.

Now, while the flying dog was the showstopper, the person who caught my eye the most was Birdman. This was some guy dressed in a black bird suit, complete with wings, on rollerblades. Yes, he was more of a crowd freaker outer, than a pleaser, but he stood out. Everyone else was dressed in red, white and blue and Birdman was all dressed in black. Sort of like the Johnny Cash of Pet Parade participants.

He wasn’t Harvey Birdman or Condorman, so the question is, who is he? Here is one of those conspiracy theory type photos of Birdman in action.

Prior to the parade Mrs. Monkey tried to bag off participating. She said, ‘You’re Batman, you don’t need anyone else next to you in the parade’. I told her, ‘Even Batman needs Robin’. Well, you get the gist of the conversation, but later it was clear that while she filled in greatly this year, I needed a sidekick to kick it up a notch. Maybe someone on the level of Birdman. So, I think you might see where I’m going here.

Since the monkey wagon isn’t enough, it’s time to take things to the next level. If a flying dog can steal the show, what about flying monkeys (think Wizard of Oz, complete with the musical score). I probably couldn’t pull this off alone, and if I were going to ask anyone for help, it wouldn’t be a flying dog, but Birdman.

Maybe I just inhaled too much smoke from the fireworks, but I’ve got a year to figure it out. Yeah right.

shannon said: