monkeyinabox: look here....or you could just go through life and be happy anyway

the daily banana

Stupid Or Blind

07.12.2006

stoopid intelligence

On my morning bike commute to work today I had one of those 'are you stupid or blind death stares at a driver' as I was cut off by some idiot who watched me ride close and then slowly pulled out in front of me. I was going uphill, so I wasn't going very fast, but nevertheless I should have yelled, cursed, or danced the funky chicken to get some sort of apology. What can you do, what can you do?

Generally I ride more aggressively to keep myself safe. I know about blind spots and stupid drivers, so basically I make it so that if they are going to hit me, it's going to be on purpose and not accidental bloody murder.

So what do drivers do that really burns me?

- Passing you fast, so that they can turn in front of you: Yes, if you have to stomp on the gas pedal to go past the biker, don't do it. What really tops it off with whipped cream is when the car or truck then squeals around the corner because they are driving too fast.

- Driving in the bike lane: Now, most people usually don't do this, but I notice it mostly when traffic is backed up. People will pull into the bike lane in hopes of seeing what's holding up traffic. Usually when traffic is backed up, I hesitate going full speed just because I'm always on the lookout for someone stupid or blind.

- Yelling or honking: I just know that I'm jinxing myself on this one, because it hasn't really happened this year. For some reason idiots like to drive past me and yell or blurt something that sounds like lyrics from a death metal song. I have no clue what they said, but it's irritating and sometimes gives you a little startle. I've armed myself with an air horn and the next time I catch someone who does that I plan to do the same to them. Yes, I'm evil.

Maybe I could pray on the bible that people will become less stupid, but that's not what bibles are for.

If the conspiracy of stupid people weren't enough, what about the laptop conspiracy? Hmmmmmmm.... interesting, so if I wind up dead, they check my laptop and say 'ahhh good one less meddling blogger!' (think Scooby Doo).

So what, you were expecting some sort of PC versus Mac rant on here? Oh, you should have known better.


Posted by monkeyinabox ::: |

Comments

Slider said:

I once had a wad of chew hit my back as a beat up dodge truck passed me with a "Mamma Let Me Grow Up to be a Cowboy" bumper sticker.



monkeyinabox said:

Another reason to carry heat when you bike. Take that you bastards!!!!



Alicia said:

I like to hitch rides when possible. Nothing pisses off a driver like grabbing on to their car and letting them tow you after they've nearly run you over. I might also suggest arming the back pocket of your pants with one of those little kryptonite city locks - heavy, small, and easily accessible for those moments when you just need a billyclub like object to hit a car back with. :D




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