monkeyinabox: look here....or you could just go through life and be happy anyway

the daily banana

Why Is That Present Under The Tree Moving?

12.15.2006

Authentic Replicas

Woof Woof, or purr purr, or oooh ohhhh ahhh ahhhh. Whatever sound it makes, it is much more than a simple present, it's a life. But, wise up sucker! Don't do it. I repeat, don't do it.

Sure, 12 Dogs of Christmas might sound like a good idea, but it's not. Really. Trust me.

Maybe it's time to figure out some new options. Yes, real pets are a big responsibility, and they find themselves as Christmas presents far too often. Just think how happy Jenny is when she gets a cute pair of hermit crabs for Christmas, but when she returns to school, she proclaims, "I got crabs for Christmas!". Not a good thing, especially since Jenny is 20 and going to college, but that's not the point. Real pets can make more frustrations, than joy at Christmas time.

Okay, now, are you finally convinced? Good. If not, follow along anyway, because you have no choice. Just in the way of how fake Christmas trees have become accepted in our society, it's time to accept fake pets as well. I mean, you can trick old people, but some people will have to come to accept this in time. You know that neon-purple Christmas tree is fake. The needles never fall off and there's no fresh cut smell of a real trees sap of life slipping away, for your enjoyment. But you move on and accept it.

While a stuffed Stella might not fool a mouse, it still could be the loving kitty you want, because frankly, it won’t scratch the hell out of you furniture or your kids hands. Fake cats are good. In a similar way Fluff won't bark at the mailman, or poop in the yard. Fake dogs are good too. And trust me, if you want a pet that's different from Stella and Fluff, there are plenty more my friends. Plenty more.

Of course, if the fluffy puppy isn't your thing, you could go with the more high-tech USB version. If you do that, it might be wise to get it a stick for Randy Rover to fetch.

Whatever your choice is, just make sure the choice is a fake one. Tis the season for fake trees and fake puppies. Keep it real, by making it fake.


Posted by monkeyinabox ::: |

Comments

strauss said:

Anyone for a Chia Pet?




Post a comment










Remember info?